The Yawns are Deafening Over North Korea’s Recent Diplomatic Evacuations

| April 5, 2013

While North Korea has warned embassies in Pyongyang to evacuate their employees, the UK seems undaunted and plans to stay. The BBC reports that while Russia is “deeply concerned,” they will remain as well. This is proof that Kim Jong-Un threats are growing wearisome even to people whose homes he could actually egg in person.

The proposed evacuation has come in response to North Korea’s claims to have moved missiles to the eastern coastline, which has now lead South Korea to respond by deploying two warships — one to the west, the other to the east.


North Korea’s Korean Central News Agency reports that a “tough-and-go [sic] situation is prevailing on the Korean Peninsula.***” The agency is calling the situation a “dangerous hotbed of a nuclear war in the true sense of the word,” while warning that a “moment of explosion is approaching fast.”

The KCNA reported that North Korea already sent a “strong message” to the “present puppet authorities and military of South Korea,” adding that the “puppet military gangsters such as Kim Kwan Jin are human rejects not worth becoming targets of the DPRK’s revolutionary armed forces.”

Glittersnipe thought that part was hilarious about “human rejects.” The agency continued with what could only be called a word salad:

“We formally inform the White House and Pentagon that the ever-escalating U.S. hostile policy toward the DPRK and its reckless nuclear threat will be smashed by the strong will of all the united service personnel and people and cutting-edge smaller, lighter and diversified nuclear strike means of the DPRK and that the merciless operation of its revolutionary armed forces in this regard has been finally examined and ratified.”

That made no sense. Pyongyang ended by saying, that the United States “had better ponder over the prevailing grave situation.” Ooh, burn.

Countries with embassies in North Korea are: Brazil, Bulgaria, Cambodia, China, Cuba, Czech Republic, Egypt, Germany, India, Indonesia, Iran, Lao P.D.R,, Malaysia, Mongolia, Nigeria, Pakistan, Poland, Romania, Russia, Sweden, Syria, United Kingdom, and VietNam.

*** All quotes are authentic.


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Category: Breaking News, Featured, NEWS

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