While visiting Santa at the mall remains an annual photo-op for much of suburbia and beyond, mercifully subjecting a child to sitting on the lap of a bucket-headed Easter Bunny has — mostly — faded. If you need further proof of why this tradition of being horrified by human hare wasn’t a hit, you need look not further than the images we’ve scavenged for your amusement and bewilderment. Happy Easter, everyone!
1. Psycho Killer Bunny
Qu’est-ce que c’est, indeed. OK, this guy is just wearing fleece pajamas and a waxed paper plate on his head. We like his pursed lips — it shows he’s haughty and really stands for something — though unfortunately it’s probably infanticide.
2. Burn Victim Bunny
Just a few more skin graphs and we’re sure he’ll be as good as new. What is going on with his hands? We blew this up and couldn’t make hide nor hare of it. Get it? It’s supposed to “hide nor hair” but then we made it — oh, shut up. No, it’s not a black man under that charming costume. Rather, it looks as though he rubbed his hands in butter and dusted them in cocoa powder.
3. Mad-as-Shit Bunny
Who in the God’s name looked at this bunny’s head and thought, “Yeah, kids are going to fucking love this shit!”?
4. Silence of the Lambs Bunny
We can’t quite get over what’s happening with the crotch on this one, or why this man has two onions shoved up his nostrils.
5. The “Happy Drunk” Bunny
We are convinced that this bunny is totally snobby and look at ‘im — he should be!
6. Mouse Bunny
Give me a break — this is mouse. Don’t know what to do with that old bathmat and toilet seat cover? Well, you do now, by God.
7. Marfan Syndrome Bunny
We’re pretty sure this is that guy from WKRP in Cincinnati.
8. Dog Bunny
Wait a minute. Did Mildred shave her pit bull’s face again? Seriously, why is this pet wearing a boa and a visor? This shit has to stop.
9. Hare-in-the-Headlights Bunny
Because sometimes it’s not about the bunny.
10. Country Club Bunny
This bunny is actually quite glamorous and may be married to “Happy Drunk” Bunny. The shape of this kid’s head leads us to believe that these two are possibly related.