Gay Republicans: Still Logrolling for the Wrong Team

| September 19, 2012

 

Recently in Washington, D.C., the pariah’d subsect of the G.O.P, the L.C.R. (Log Cabin Republicans), hosted their annual Spirit of Lincoln Awards dinner. While feasting on obtuseness, flights-of-fancy, and cold mashed potatoes, they patted themselves on the back and said what a fine job they’de done making their Party more gay-friendly than Twilight twinks at a bath house.

For those unaware, the L.C.R. was founded thirty years ago by a band of homosexuals (a hoary term used in the most clinical, and distancing, of senses) who weren’t satisfied with the kind of private self-loathing that most of us settle for. Instead, they preferred to stand publicly under bunting and confetti and celebrate with politicos who actually hate them more than they hate themselves

The very existence of L.C.R. is a conundrum. On one hand, there’s the Republican Party’s regression into a toxic sludge of schizophrenic faith-based social conservatism. On the other hand, there’s the crony-capitalistic embrace of the one-percenters. Considering this alone, it’s amazing that a sodomite (how they refer to themselves in polite company) would care to take refuge in this Lincoln Logged townhouse. But they do.

In addition to lower taxes (perhaps they’d prefer Eisenhower’s plan), and national defense (which is already the largest in the world), Log Cabineers’ cri de coeur is gay rights – unless of course legislation is proposed by any politico whose name is followed by a parenthetical “D.”

When “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” was repealed in December 2010, which was one of President Obama’s campaign promises, the L.C.R. claimed the victory as their own. They are now furious that the reversal does not include spousal support for same-sex widows and widowers. Meanwhile, the man for whom they will cast their ballot in November actually supports the Defense of Marriage Act, which would alter our Constitution and make same-sex marriage illegal in all fifty states,

Rather than cheering when Obama publicly stated that he was in support of marriage equality, the L.C.R. fired potshots instead, stating that if the president “were on the Supreme Court, he would vote against us. Obama supports same-sex marriage, but he sees no constitutional mandate.” And yet the Republicans’ stance is 100 percent antithetical to their own. This is like refusing mouth-to-mouth because you don’t like your nurse’s lipstick.

And last month conventioneers clapped and cried tears of joy when the Democratic National Convention’s platform acknowledged the LGBT community for the first time in our nation’s history and then stated firmly its position on marriage equality. And what did the Log Rollers across the country do? They just sat on their hands and called it pandering.

Trying to wrap one’s mind around what their attraction is to the G.O.P. is fruitless (get it?) — and just because you’re a religious corn-holer (a re-appropriated term that’s fun for the whole family nowadays), does not mean that your quaint little cabin is the right home for you. You probably have a church group that you belong to already, so go show off your fruit/marshmallow salad at Vacation Bible School and, for the love of God, have some dignity.

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Conversely, if you are a 1-percenter (or aspire to be and have a hearty disdain for 47-percenters), there might be an attraction to hobnobbing with others of a similar pecuniary persuasion. Though it’s certainly self-serving, at least it makes sense. But what is so bafflingly nonsensical is why you would make the illogical leap to join the Republican Party, which has proven itself time and again to be at odds with the very fundamental core of your being. There are many hip libertarian Democrats, and fabulously wealthy Democrats, and even that rarest of species: centrist Democrats. Logically these are more hospitable climes for high-society sodomites than the swamplands of today’s Republican Party.

But back to the real reason, I suspect, why someone would be drawn to the L.C.R. and that is simply: self-loathing. In May when the president announced his support for marriage equality, Log Cabin Republicans still clung to the G.O.P. like they were suffering from “battered-wife syndrome.” These fudge-packers (a term their Republican brethren use to describe them behind their backs) just can’t stop protecting their abusers while there’s clearly an ambulance waiting to take them to the hospital — they’d rather die in the gutter because the driver is a Democrat.

We don’t know who won those prestigious Lincoln Awards, but one thing’s for certain:  At that celebration they were all losers.

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About the Author ()

Buck Jones is a writer and entrepreneur who lives in Paris. His first novel, The Influentials, will be published summer 2013.

Comments (4)

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  1. Stephanie Wilkins says:

    Fantastic!

  2. skeloric says:

    If they REALLY wanted to achieve something rather than merely be pathetic, they’d at least abandon the Republican party and go to the Libertarian Party. The Libertarians at least are Socially Liberal, even though they parrot the Republican party on all fiscal issues as if they really weren’t a separate party. In any event, they do have their own guy on the ballot and is poised better than ever to steal Republican votes.

    I’ll just sit back and laugh while I vote Democrat as I have every year of my life except the one single time I voted Ventura for governor.
    My party accepts me and fights for my rights, theirs might but only in about 300 years, if ever.

  3. MATTHEW REYNOLDS says:

    Hello Buck,I may very well be the last surviving member of the original Abe Lincoln/Log Cabin Club. The original organization had it’s founding at Hollywood in late 1977. That group had little resemblance to the group that is the present LRC that you cite as having started thirty years ago. You are correct in many of your descriptions; these are loathsome individuals. The mental illness that is today’s Republican party had it’s start in the 80s when the misguided Christian cults successfully infiltrated the Government (where is Joe McCarthy when you need him). I suppose what I am trying to tell you is, the club’s beginnings were a business persons response to the Stonewall Democrat Club. Both organizations worked on issues that concerned the LGBT Community of that day….