Five Things We Can’t Believe Exist — Vol. 13

| August 21, 2012 | 0 Comments

1. This Performance on the ‘Are You Ready?’ Indian Talent Show
No, you’re not ready. These Sikh Gatka warriors are simply astounding, and are clearly as brave and immune to pain as they are completely insane. Trust us, you have to watch this until at least 2:55 because you’re not going to believe what you’re seeing. The Bhangra music makes it toe-tapping goodness, the physical abuse makes it squirm-worthy, and the Bollywood starlet’s abject horror makes it hilarious. (Highlights are 2:40, 3:59, and the finale) This is what Busby Berkeley would have done if he’d had balls. Jai Hind!

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2. GoPlate
You have two choices when using the GoPlate: eat like a pig at a trough or absentmindedly sip your beverage and plop your entire meal all over your Polyester pants suit.  The squared-off acrylic French manicure and the “silver-toned” charm bracelet featuring a chewed-up gumball is particularly elegant. Who is this? The Queen of England?

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3. Another Naked Crazy Woman Is Roaming the Streets
Recently spotted carousing the streets of Kunming, China, is this Italian medical student who has clearly lost her damn mind.  Even Tin Tin, who happened to be driving by (you’re welcome), took note of his curious doppelganger and was nearly as shocked as Chinese locals who are now calling for her deportation. Unlike New York’s very own sweet-potato’d teet’d Moria Johnston who has a cause — more or less — little else is known of her Sino-Italo counterpart, other than the fact that while she appears longer in the tooth than Ms. Johnston, she is certainly not as long-in-the-breasts.

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4.  Strvct Shoes
This brilliant Eiffel-esque footwear was designed by Continuum Fashion by using a 3-D printer and is constructed mainly of nylon (and a rubberized sole for traction).  Light and airy, yet surprisingly resilient, these shoes are far more wearable than they seem, which at $900 (USD) for a custom-made pair, we certainly hope so. We’re longing for a silver motorcycle boot. Please.

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5. The Tenga Egg
This egg-like sex toy is for men to pour lubricant into and insert their own breakfast sausage link.  Men who actually fit  into this tiny ovum comfortably may want to consider marrying it —  if only to keep sad unsuspecting ladies from having to say, “Oh, no, it’s all right; I’m practically gay anyway.”

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Category: Can't Believe Exist, Gawk

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