Five Things We Can’t Believe Exist – Vol. 06

| June 8, 2012 | 2 Comments

 


1. The British Royals Look Like Snowmen
HRH Queen Elizabeth II’s Diamond Jubilee brought out the Royal finery — except for the Queen, whose costumes seem to draw inspiration from a Stay Puft Marshmallow snowman and Whoppi Goldberg on Star Trek wearing a paper hat.  Not to be outdone, though, the other two contenders for the master suite at  Buckingham Palace quickly followed suit: Kate as an enormous snowlady with a fetching red chapeau, and Camilla as a slushy Grim Reaper.

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2. Paper Passion Perfume, For Booklovers [sic]
Created by perfumers Geza Schoen (who creates this author’s signature scent, “Esoteric Molecules”) and Gerhard Steidl, along with Wallpaper* magazine, (and packaged by Karl Lagerfeld) comes a new fragrance of freshly printed books. Remember those? Now you can spray your nearest Kennedy Fried Chicken with this scent and remember what it was was like when the space was an actual bookstore before you started buying everything on your electronic devil book.  We hope you’re pleased with yourselves.

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3. These People Look Wasted
The Obamas welcomed the Bushes back to the White House for the traditional ceremony of the unveiling of their official portraits. And if anyone thought for a second that Mrs. Bush would have been upset about her painting, which looks nothing like her, they needn’t have worried as the former first lady looks as though she is drunk out of her fucking mind.  Blow out your candles, Laura.

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4. Lester’s Fixins
After seeing flavorings like this, we couldn’t help but wonder if Mayor Bloomberg wasn’t an actual prophet. This is clearly the beverage of choice for one the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. What will the other Horsemen whet their whistles with while heralding the End of Days? Why, none other than Lester’s Fixins’ other meat-flavored beverage: Buffalo Wings. We wish we were kidding, but sadly we ‘re not. Upon further research, however, Lester’s other flavorings like Peanut Butter & Jelly and Sweet Corn sound virtually quaffable. No they don’t.

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5. These Roadside Snacks in Cambodia
Most Southeast Asian countries are famous for their street food; however, Cambodians’ reputation for this arachnid delight borders on the infamous. One of the most popular snacks in the country, these fried tarantulas are offered up at virtually every bus depot and snack shack throughout Cambodia.

Frankly, we’d prefer these crunchy creepy-crawlies to that poultry-flavored pop any day. No we wouldn’t.

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Category: Can't Believe Exist, Featured, Gawk

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  1. Lauren says:

    Forget the Times get all the news that is fit or unfit to print and a good chuckle at the same time
    Bravo

  2. Megan says:

    Mmm sweet corn soda! Y’all get yer fixins! It must make you proud to be from the south!

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