Five Things We Can’t Believe Exist — Vol. 05

| June 1, 2012

1. Waffle Handle
If the far right photo is any indication, drunk Japanese kids are a hot mess. But don’t fret, department store Tokyu Hands has come to the rescue and designed a product to keep tipsy toddlers from absentmindedly ramming their corneas directly into door handles. Now little Miyoko can get drunk off her ass and bust her skull on a doorknob and just laugh it off as if she meant to do that — as is evidenced by her sloppy drunk thumps-up photo at the bottom.  Great recovery, Miyoko. Kampai, girl!

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2. Scotland to Singapore by Rail
When Cambodia backed out of the deal — when denied backing by the Asian Development Bank — to link their tracks to Thailand and Viet Nam, the oft-dreamed-of epic journey seemed a washout. Now, however, with China and South Korea tossing coins in the bucket it seems the Iron/Silk Road could soon be clacking along.

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3.This Headline.
Where is this line and and how quickly can we get there?

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4.  Mrs. Brown
We spotted this at Siam Paragon Mall in Bangkok recently and when we remarked to the sales girl how shocked we were by this image, she simply smiled and said, “Oh yes, it’s a shock, so delicious.” Mrs. Brown looks as much like a black lady as Yul Brynner, in yellowface, looked like a Thai man*— wait, now we get it: this is retribution for The King and I*.

(*As an aside, the musical based on the supposed love affair between Anna Leonowens and King Rama IV is still banned in the Kingdom of Thailand. But cookies being sold with offensive blackface cartoons? Apparently, shockingly delicious.)

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5. Les Misérables: the Movie
We thought the same thing: not that fuckin’ kid again. Yes, it’s Victor Hugo’s masterwork about a minor rebellion that’s pretty much the equivalent of Mexico’s Cinco de Mayo — a whole lot of hoopla for a minor historical event.  While we found the popular  long-running Broadway production equal parts terrific and soporific, the lush score surely cannot be denied. Indeed, we felt the concert stagings were superior.

We rolled our eyes with ennui when we clicked on this clip, but in the end some of us needed to dry our eyes with tissues. Yes, we’ve heard “I Dreamed a Dream” better sung by that Scottish woman with a face like a fistful of raw hamburger, but we’ve yet to hear it acted with such substance.  Whether this will prove to be a brilliantly stirring film or just feel like a belabored schlock-fest told in real time remains to be seen, but so far, it’s certainly piqued our curiosity .  (Click to see the trailer)

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Category: Can't Believe Exist, Featured, Gawk

Comments (4)

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  1. Seth says:

    Hilarious. And finally someone who knows the difference between “peaked” and “piqued.”

  2. Megan says:

    Oh yes! Rolled our eyes with ennui.. Beautiful!

  3. Jeff Stine says:

    As a pop-culture junkie, I’m loath to admit my complete ignorance that a film version of Les Miz was being considered (let alone that it had been cast, filmed, and had a trailer produced). Though I’ve had tickets on three separate occasions, the universe interfered each time and I have still never seen the show. [Alas, the universe never saw fit to prevent me from sitting through Suzanne Somers’s one-woman mess “The Blonde In The Thunderbird”, Harry Connick Jr’s appalling “Thou Shalt Not”, or any jukebox musical other than “Xanadu” (that means you, “Mamma Mia”.]

    Over the years, however, Les Miz’s most famous song proved much harder to avoid. Be it Susan Boyle’s global youtube explosion or — on a much smaller scale — Maggie-the-waitress’s frequent “sssshhhhh!! she’s got a beautiful voice!” solo at Marie’s Crisis (the West Village’s irresistable sing-along hole-in-the-wall), I always found the song overwrougt, melodramatic, and … annoying.

    As Ms. D’Angelo points out, however, this is the first time I’ve experienced the song being “acted” as well as it is here. Bravo Anne Hathaway. I am now curious/eager to see what the moving brings.

  4. James Taylor says:

    My brother has spent the last six months working as a production assistant on “Les Miz”. Apparently Hugh Jackman buys National Lottery scratchcards for the entire crew every Friday. His co-star Russell Crowe on the other hand has so far failed to ingratiate himself (he even reduced one crew-member to tears on week one after making a mean comment about her outfit).